Sunday, June 18, 2006

LGF readers = Dwight Schrute from "The Office"?

This one speaks for itself, nothing but badass internet toughguys populate LGF apperently. Check it out yourself, a veritable brunch of overcompensation and insecurity for father's day.

mglazer starts us off and sets the intellectual tone.

This is a joke right?

I think the UK is a joke

Next up, a foolproof plan for averting a catastrophe.
Funny you should mention a cricket bat. I keep one by my desk at school (Western PA) in case of a Columbine-type situation. I can look out the gunmen and whap them over the head from behind the door if they try to break in.

Why do I get the feeling this guy's writing this from his mom's basement that's covered in bodybuilder posters?
likely she would loose the knife to the attacker before using it
my father trained me well and extensively in the use of all weapons when I was a kid
(he was a cop)
including pyschological weapons
(youe walk will telegraph if you are a "victim" etc)
most people cant use a knife
I can take a knife
from people much larger than myself very easily if they have no clue what they are doing ...
you dont produce a knife till you are about to plunge it in
most people hold out their arm waving it around
a good swift clasp of the wrist
or slap
or kick
will open the hand and the knife falls right out

If she learns the "dont fuck with me" walk
no one will ever bother her
and she wont need it
shes better off with a gun though

Just what are you gonna do punk, when nose comes within eight feet of you?
standing up, inside of 8 feet, i can take your gun away from you before you can draw it and fire and can remove your knife from you hands at any usable distance. if it's someone that knows how to use a knife, it's only slightly harder.

I've just been promoted to Sai-Pan, westerners don't know about it, but it's equally as respected as grand master!
Learned that one in tae kwon do years ago.

My instructor (grand master) said the eyeballs will pop like eggyolks.

Now it's on!
Come and try your best. Weapons retention techniques are part of responsible ownership / employment of same. I'm sure as shit not going to stand there with it jutting out for you to latch onto. Nor am I going to wait for you to lay hands on my weapon or weapon-bearing hand before I use that weapon. I'm going to shoot you down the moment your rush towards me begins. And if all I have is a knife, I'm going to foul your attack with my off-hand and body, and when you are slowed down / blunted, I'm going to rip your guts out with it.
Come and try.

Actually that last one crossed some sort of line I think it's better I stop before I see more than I want to.

This post dedicated to the coolest (I know that sounds lame but meet him and you'll agree) dad I know, my own. Happy fathers day dad, I'll be over in a few.


Blogger MC Peepants said...

Read your plea at S,N. I visit every day and think you are teh rad. You gave me Pandora, for Christ's sake! You gave me inspiration in your battles against Raven and her cohorts. You are the Man, man. I just wish I could figure out how to put you on my blog roll. Or post more. Oh well, just want you to know that I am thoroughly impressed. Thanks,
MC P Pants

11:28 PM, June 20, 2006  
Blogger Chuckles said...

I fantasize about being some jackie chan like god of street combat and stuff, but that's the difference between us. Or one difference. I recognize that it is just a freaking fantasy. I have already been in life threatening situations involving automatic weaponry. I ran like a scared shitless boy. I would do it again a hundred times over. I have no training and understand that my fantasies are just that. Just because I look beefy and walk beefy, doesn't mean I am some fucking grand master of combat. These yahoos are way too stuck on their Halo 2 prowess.

I would own them in any arena in any FPS. Just so we know where I stand.

7:44 AM, June 21, 2006  
Blogger Timmah420 said...

Thanks MC, nice to see someone still comes by, I've been trying to post more often, but it's hard for me to laugh about it or even talk about it anymore without getting infuriated.

I simply can't believe what this world is turning into these days. The conservatives have even won canada by splitting the vote. It's a sad state of affairs.

PS: If you want hilarty with Raven, go to her site and either search for or go three pages back to a thread entitled only human beings can be gay, I beat the shit out of her argument with a footlong black leather dildo. It was fun, she wont even respond anymore.

6:51 PM, June 21, 2006  
Blogger Chuckles said...

That was a pretty brutal argument. Raven seems to think like a poorly socialized 13 year-old kid.

12:17 PM, June 22, 2006  
Anonymous MC Peepants said...

Not only was your argument with Raven spot-on right, but it was on my b-day. She probably is on page three of the "18,000" plus pages now. These Raven battles should be chronicled if just for the utter beating that you lay on her constantly. Well played, well played. The pendulum will swing back. Do not lose faith.
MC P Pants

12:07 AM, June 26, 2006  
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11:51 PM, August 10, 2006  

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