Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Shorter Townhall:

Michelle Malkin: “Who will I use my quasi-celebrity status to attack next? That’s right, a seven year old girl. Seriously.”

Burt Prelutsky: “I don’t really have a point to speak of, except to attempt to perpetuate the myth of the giant underground poverty by choice community, even though the numbers of employed and still impoverished individuals is growing.” (Ok, not so short.)

Brent Bozell: “Fuck Helen Thomas!”

Mark Joseph: “Not even having a tape of yourself and Kid Rock pounding a couple of hookers will stop me from recommending your latest cashgrab if you put religious themes in your album.”

Doug Giles: “I’ve stolen Dennis Miller’s book of metaphors. Also, I hate having a woman as my boss. Also, God… and the bible.”

In other news: Raven the blogger takes a break from writing about her vagina to join a giant fucking carnival of people having a few drinks and either pretending to be drunk or making a huge adolescent affair out of being genuinely drunk.

"Raven: Ahh yes rogah waters…NOW I like his music no I love PINK FLOYD and his songs make me have orgasms wOOt- but his politics totallly turn me off. He’s a liberal freak who should and I htink does live in speewtFrancespeewt

buzzzzz buuuuzz buzz BUZZ"


Blogger Butchieboy said...

I've met Helen Thomas and she is actually a very sweet lady. No shit.

10:31 AM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger Timmah420 said...

She seems like the only one left in the press corps that has the balls (as it were) to ask the tough questions.

If the press corps were full of Helen Thomases, I seriously doubt America would be in the situation it's in.

10:46 AM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger Butchieboy said...

She called me "dear" and made me hold her hand when she walked up and down the stairs.

11:06 AM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger Timmah420 said...

Did she make you do anything else? Show me on the doll where she touched you butchie...

11:57 AM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger Butchieboy said...

You people are sick. That's terrible. You should be ashamed.

12:21 PM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger dave128 said...

She seems like the only one left in the press corps that has the balls (as it were) to ask the tough questions.

Yeah, she totally rocks :)

McCLELLAN: “Just three years ago the Iraqi people were under a brutal, oppressive dictator. Ah, a dictator that killed thousands and thousands of people.”

THOMAS: "How many have we killed?"

McCLELLAN: “We’ve liberated 25 million both in Iraq and in Afghanistan."

THOMAS: "How many have we killed?"

McCLELLAN: "Yeah, Helen, I’m sorry Bob, I just can’t let this go. Our men and women in uniform go out of their way not to target innocent civilians."

12:31 PM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger Timmah420 said...

Butchie, after that comment on Teh L4m3's blog about that one guy's junk targeting someone's hot pink buttmeat...

Well let's just say you have experience in that kind of humor.

12:41 PM, March 16, 2006  
Anonymous Pinko Punko said...

Where am I? What just happened?

2:19 PM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger Timmah420 said...

You're in my BIGGEST THREAD EVAR! (tell him what he's won...)

I thought you might like the Raven link Pinko, I really wrestled with myself not to leave a comment and disturb their natural habitat...

2:26 PM, March 16, 2006  
Blogger AssParrot said...

We need to make this thread a 200-commenter. Ready, set ... oh, never mind.

Anyway, my favorite part of the Raven drunk-girl post is where everybody calls Roger Waters "Roger Walters" ... I mean, I fucking loathe Pink Floyd almost as much as the Eagles and I know what the guy's name is.

American Psycho is out-parodied on a weekendly basis by the likes of Raven and Pamela from Atlas Shrugged, except they don't even know it.

8:56 AM, March 17, 2006  
Blogger AssParrot said...

Goddam it I had a really good comment to add and blogger routed me to no-man's land when I tried to post it. Frckinfrazzlefzzl.

Anyway - Raven. Much as I like gettin drunk and huffin Lee Press On Nails adhesive with just about anybody, I'd gladly go sober rather than spend five seconds within 100 yards of any bar she was at.

8:59 AM, March 17, 2006  
Blogger AssParrot said...

Triple fuck. It DID post my previous comment. And now everybody will no it wasn't "really good" like I tried to fake in the second comment ... more like "really stupid". Blogger can kiss my ass. Let's make this a 200-comment thread starting now.

9:00 AM, March 17, 2006  
Blogger Timmah420 said...

What really makes me laugh is how they manage to completely disconnect the artist and his works from his beliefs and values.

"Oh I'm a devout Christian, but I just happen to love Norweigan Black death metal."

I don't listen to Toby Keith, but then again Roger isn't an ass licking political opportunist like Mr. Keith is...

12:21 PM, March 17, 2006  
Blogger Raven said...

Oh now now...I'm not that bad.

Lighten up people.

3:32 PM, March 17, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:15 PM, March 17, 2006  
Blogger AssParrot said...

raven's here! THUNK! Timmah, you are my new hero!

8:22 AM, March 18, 2006  
Blogger Timmah420 said...

Thanks man... BANG!


8:30 AM, March 18, 2006  

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